Soli Deo Gloria

   I was rebuked by a sermon today. I was challenged to stop, reflect, and remember what the point of everything is. It is so easy to get caught up in the routine that you forget why it is you started the routine in the first place!
The point is very simple: God's glory.
The sermon very clearly (and biblically) displayed that the reason, the motive, behind everything God does is His own glory. He loves, He saves, He restores, He reconciles, etc.. all for the fame of His name.
And that is awesome because that is what makes Him God.

Now if God is passionate about His own glory, would not that imply that His people should be equally passionate about it?
Absolutely.

All of this came crashing down with one glaring point: it is not about me! The world does not revolve around me. My rights, thoughts, desires, plans are pretty much insignificant. They don't matter.

This is so counter-cultural it is almost ridiculous. Culture is telling me that I deserve it, I have the right to be offended and upset, I should look out for number 1. But God is telling me that instead, I need to be passionate for His glory. I am not to be consumed with myself, I am to be consumed with Him.

And the knowledge of that is incredibly freeing.
Once my hurts, my trials are compared to the weight of His glory, they don't seem like a big deal. I am free to let go of the pain I want to hold on to, am even expected to hold on to! With my focus redirected on glorifying Christ, I am free to see Him and not the things that weigh me down.

That sounds spectacular, but does it really seem possible?
Even though I know these truths and know them well, life often still seems difficult. Why can't it just be easy to forget the pain? Do I have to feel it so deeply?

As I mediated on this, this passage came to mind that shed some light.

"Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another." -Isaiah 48:10-11

Yes, I will be afflicted. For some reason I was hoping that my shift of focus would take away the pain in its entirety. I was hoping that remembering God's glory would just make life easy somehow.
But the point was never about not feeling pain! That is me making it about me again! I have been arguing that I need to remember that I am not the center of the universe. Life is not about me. Everything is about God and His glory!
 However, I forgot that God receives glory in a variety of ways.
And one of those ways is through trial and tribulation. Affliction will come. But I will bring glory to God in my affliction. I will remember that God is refining me, FOR HIS OWN SAKE!
And though I will feel the angst that comes with the trial, the burden will be slightly lifted with the knowledge that God is being glorified.

God is passionate about His glory. His people should share that passion.

I had said that that realization will bring freedom.

And so it has. I am free to bring glory to God, whether the sun is shining or the storm is raging. All be for His reknown.

Soli Deo Gloria

All I Can Say

I stumbled upon an old song today, one that I probably haven't heard in at least 4 years or so. Today it pulled the strings of my heart in a completely new way, almost as if I had never heard it before.

The thing I appreciate so much about this song is its stark honesty. The writer expresses exactly what his heart is feeling. So often I feel a need to spiritualize things, to say things that I know will make me sound like a spiritual person, say things that I know are doctrinely grounded/ theologically suitable for whichever situation... And I often forget that my God is actually my Daddy and wants to hear from me like a child running to her daddy for help. I often forget the beauty of the simplicity of the gospel. I forget that prayer needs to be honest and simple. I think about how David prays so boldly, almost seemingly bipolar in his emotions, but he's honest with God! It's not as if God doesn't know what his heart is feeling anyway! I want to learn to pray like that. No pretense. Just me and my God, completely honest. Completely childlike.

My thoughts today are reflections of my experience yesterday.Yesterday I walked into church not filled with joy at all.. I was shaken, yet trying to be strong. Worship started, but how was I supposed to sing? I started singing anyway, initially pretending that I was just fine. That didn't last very long. I broke. And it was a beautiful thing. I can say that I've never worshipped God like that before. Something similar has probably occured in the past, but not quite like that. I was in a place where I just said, "Lord, I'm so messed up inside. My heart is completely broken. But I will worship You anyway. Because I know You. I know that you are Merciful and Good, abounding in Compassion. I know that you are Faithful. I know that you are Holy and deserving of all honor and praise. I know that you are God...

But Lord, I am broken. So I can't sing very loud. I can't sing very joyfully. But I'll sing with what I have right now: my broken everything...
This is All that I can say... And I'm giving it to you. "

And God understands.. He doesn't take away the pain. But He does something better. He's there. With me. Holding me together.

Here are the lyrics for All I Can Say by David Crowder:

ALL I CAN SAY

Lord I'm tired, So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
Lord the dark is creeping in, creeping up to swallow me

I think I'll stop rest here a while.

Chorus:

This is All that I can say right now
And This is All that I can give.

This is All that I can say right now

And this is All that I can give, That's my Every Thing

Didn't You see me Crying
And didn't You hear me call Your Name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember where You sat it down

Chorus:

This is All that I can say right now, I know it's not much
But this is All that I can give.

This is All that I can say right now,

And this is All that I can give, That's my Every Thing

I didn't notice You were standing here.

I didn't know that that was You holding me.

I didn't notice You were crying too

I didn't know that that was You washing my feet.